we're chasing vodka with high fives
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
