maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
