tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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