btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
