You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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