I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
