oh god the rape fog is back!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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