this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
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I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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