So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
