Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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