I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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