I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
