How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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