mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
