i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize