i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
