Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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