im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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