Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
