If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
handjob tips. give me some.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
