She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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