Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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