I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Can I color on your dick again?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
