Whod you bang
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
