I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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