North Korea, Best Korea!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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