how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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