I think I died a long time ago.
Say something about gay babies.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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