I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So vagazzling was a success
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