the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
His hands were made for my vagina.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize