I just cut my nipple shaving
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
