she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
