Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
