shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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