i think i have herpe
just one?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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