just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
