Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize