He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
