Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize