You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
