my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Moan for me like Helen Keller
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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