once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I am one with the molecules
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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