I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Say something about gay babies.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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