The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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