oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
