I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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