my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is wine microwaveable?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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