what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
