Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
