I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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