yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
