there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
