I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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