Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
