Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
