im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize